How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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crap!!

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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Girls

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Wy did the chicken?

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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knock, knock come in

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

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What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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ass in my face ? no

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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