Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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A man made a sandwich.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Woman rights.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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