- Anti Joke

what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

*you're

what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

Today is May 18 2016.

What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

Gianni

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

Pff, "Axel", you are a fucking amateur, I can convey your fucking message in two lines, and one and a half of those lines would be fucking swearing and insults. I am done with the fucking underground society, it used to be a great place for people to discuss real world matters rather than be blinded by the fucking lies of the media, and yes religion, if you ever worked for me, you know that the fucking bible is a textbook example of every goddamn brain washing technique there is. But if you where ever my allumni, id expect you to use those methods sparringly and only when neccesary. No wonder people consider you a fucking cultist, you use your fucking methods as smoke and mirrors rather than letting "your people" know, and teach them that you just use a bunch of verbal tricks. Mental-ism is not magic, and neither should it be implied to be part of the surreal, while I respect your ideology, you have misused it to acquire power and wealth from those you claim to protect, and while you do convey some good ideals, you are far too arrogant and ignorant for the role you have given yourself. Besides, even if you could protect "your people" as you claim you can, who the fuck is supposed to protect the rest from them?! That is some hard core methods you are abusing "Axel", and you know it, if you claim to be anti religion, then stop using the very same methods they do without teaching people how the methods work first! Moral: Never underestimate me, I enjoy behaving like a jackass, but it does not mean that I am one, as for you, you are a jackass which likes behaving like someone worthy of respect. I am still at the fucking hospital, so if you want some guidelines, speak here, and if you cant send me your contact information so we can chat on a proper phone, I will only have to assume that you are either a coward for not revealing your location to an obviously superior man ...Or... ...that... ...you... Are a fucking coward little bitch that simply keeps on hiding behind the people he claims to protect and shield! Start by admitting that I am far beyond your puny knowledge, and I might throw in a few lines of assistance. Moral 2: You are fucking using horse head network as we speak! I use it for bullshit and "iron manning", you shame the remains of the underground society for using it as means of "encoded messages" and at all!

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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