What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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I need a good anti joke....

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Nicolas Cage

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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How many cows say moo? All of them

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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