why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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I can't see my forehead

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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terry stockton is straight

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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