A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

Women's Rights.

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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