What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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