A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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Adam Fantuzzi loves stroking jacobs small penis

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Thank you for helping to save the animals. You may send your donation as a check to "Anti-Joke" at 555 Main Street, Anytown, CA.

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why were Tamika and Tyron afraid to get into the water? They weren't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

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Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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