what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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how now brown cow. WTF.

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

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The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

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What is cold? Winter

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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