Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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Sac

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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WHO the FUK are Waseem ? and Jess ??!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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