Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's big and fat? An obese man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

thumb_up thumb_down +2

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops