A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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