Roses are red Violets are blue S*** is brown and so are you

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

Please Rape William Wright

Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

Q: What is, in full, Donald Trump's speech to the Republican National Convention? A: This. I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! Trump tromp troomp trimp treemp tramp trump trump trump!

What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

What's the difference between a duck?

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

Like if you like big tits.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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