What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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