Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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yo mama is so dumb she went to dr. dre for a pepsmear

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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