What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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Womens Rights.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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want a balloon? yeah

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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