two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Women's rights.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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Jews.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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who drinks pee? katness

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Yo momma is SO black.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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wat?

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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