How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Type 2 diabetics

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you survive the plague? you dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops