What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

your father died

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know your videogames? Test your might!: Getal Sear Molid = Metal Gear Solid. Do you get these though? Combatfrogs. Mechapoliceofficer vs The Enders. Outdoor battlers: Second encounter, speedy version. Above Average Luciano Siblings. Area of the Beginners (if you get this one u are epik!) Monkey D0ng (not so epik :P) G-one (pretty good if you get this one too) Lethal Fighting. (LETHAL FIGHTING!!!) Exploder Guy (kudos if you get it) Requirement for velocity (lol) Weeds vs the Frankensteins (decent) So how many did you get? Check the comment section for the answers.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What would be worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops