What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Woman rights.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops