How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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K.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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