Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

new year new me my nigga's chilling on the couch . he'l be happy if i put my dlck inside his mouth next one: i got 4 but i give it to mr. gore when he say whats your name? me:hey my mane is Erick bryan and my puss* is wet wait nonono :D

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

thumb_up thumb_down +1

who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

thumb_up thumb_down +1

vbh

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops