How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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A disabled man walks into a bar.

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

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Ted Haggard.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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