A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Whats a box full of sand? a sandsquare

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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one swipe, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAH! know what i mean, Paul....are you ok?....nooo...., you know the lettuce in antarctica is pretty questionable

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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What do u call a women between to black guys? -loose

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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