How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

:O + :P = 69

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

thumb_up thumb_down +38

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops