whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

Roey Jegen

Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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