Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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Land Rovers

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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