So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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