What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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dead battery come on down

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops