What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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A black guy WALKS out of prison.

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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