Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

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when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

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Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

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how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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