do you want to hear a joke?

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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Women's rights.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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Gay's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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