why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

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Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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