A guy has cancer. He dies.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

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What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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A seal walks into a club.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Your Mom.

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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