What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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your mom

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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