How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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