what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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