What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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Melbourne Football Club.

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How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Kellers dad? It was very funny

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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Dear emma brown i would appreciate if i could have my dick back, the you squeezed of wwith you ass cheeck -jackson edwards

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Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

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Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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Maturity is a virtue.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

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How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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