- Anti Joke

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

Gay's rights

What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

What is 8 times 4? 32

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

why do you care?

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops