Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops