What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Ebola

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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