Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I just can't stand sitting down!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A: B: No pun intended.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops