Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Come In!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops