What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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