There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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Guess What! HI!

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Knock knock --Come in.

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

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You have cancer

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

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here is Stevie Wonder's poem: sjkgfhdujduehfheuefeufhhf uefuefg eufbejfbefehfehutuge' wiohl;wreohqweiothurelwueths sjtghekltrhlsdifhlziurhlsiurhtwoli

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why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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