What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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Snarf Nuggets

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody actually knows this because the chicken could not tell us why he/she crossed the road so it would be nearly impossible to get the answer.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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If you're reading this, you can read.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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