What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Do you know what's not right? Left.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops