Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

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womens rights to vote

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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