whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Men, get on the boat.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Knock knock, Come in...

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Tell you something funny.

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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Poop

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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poop is very very yummy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops