Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the man with cancer do? Die

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Men, get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops