your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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I need a good anti joke....

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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