Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

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I need a good anti joke....

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Knock knock. Death.

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whats the difference between madalin mcan and batman...batman returns. not really madalin mcan gets rape fucked by many differnt men at the same time whilst she squeels for help

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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