Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Hey, Max!!

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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