What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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YEAH THEY DO.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops