how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

I just can't stand sitting down!

Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

What's really weird? It's you Greg!

Stephen Walking.

Penis penis poop butt

What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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