What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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dead battery come on down

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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