Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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q

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Not Steve Jobs

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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An atheist walks into a church

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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