Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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An asian without a future.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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womens rights

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops