Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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what is 6 + 8 a math equation

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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An asian without a future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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