How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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^that joke a piece of shit

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

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Chuck Norris is an average human being!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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