What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Chinese drivers.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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