Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Donald Trump

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Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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